15 minutes of shame….

Every year , for the past 11 years , the Irish & friends of the Irish expat community in Paris get together to have a big Ball. Now, I’m sure some of you are thinking that it kind of goes with the territory of being Irish or remotely related , possibly even a neighbour to somebody Irish  – that , whenever there is one or more of said nations citizens about – there’s bound to be a bit of a hooley started. In fact some of us are quite capable of having hooleys all by ourselves ( and I’m very proud of the fact ) but that, again, is another blog story …

No , this is a proper bona fide , get your hair done & your high heels on, big expat charity ball. It’s a highlight of every self respecting Franco-Irish business persons year . Everyone gets to eat , drink, be merry and raise much needed funds for the international humanitarian organisation – GOAL.

This year , after some trojan voluntary work by the organiser & his commitee , the ball was held in the courtyard of the Irish cultural center in Paris. A beautiful building in the centre of the 5th arrondisement  …. red carpets were laid out , marquees + band stands erected ,table plans made , auction items out on display,  and of course the star speakers invited.

Now it has to be said , that possibly one of the attractions at the ball is the thrill of watching some of the bar owners bid against each other for the auction items – it’s kind of priceless.  The legendary MC skills from Mr Denis Corcoran , (a man who has been known to hire himself out as an Irishmans tourist guide to Paris , offer weekends away in a garden shed to his website followers & did a 5km* hop around paris for charity ), plus the several sports stars + personalities who come along & even manage to get themselves auctioned off for the night , keep us all coming back for more ….

That is, untill there came a confirmation e-mail that Mr Gabriel Byrne , Irish actor and ambassador for Irish culture in the USA , was going to be guest of honour at this years ball… Well , things got just a tad frantic after that . (I think he’s kind of just a little bit gorgeous in a mature , accomplished kind of a way) So , after changing my dress about 6 times ( I may have put the same dress back on again once or twice aswell) , which you ladies will know , also means having to find different shoes , accessories , handbags , and depending on whether the last dress had shoulder straps or not ..;also finding underwear that’s not shockingly apparent either . Then of course, there’s the problem of having put two million hairclips into a do that may look ridiculously unattractive to Mr- just a little bit gorgeous in a mature + accomplished kind of a way- G.Byrne ; so out all the clips come , followed closely by the straighteners , curling tongs  & hairspray. The smell of scorched hair in our house would have knocked a robbers horse . Did I say scorched … I mean welded together …( it was raining on and off all afternoon – I mean torrential showers) –  puff mama was not the look I wanted for my first encounter with Mr B. ( He was married to Ellen Barkin , starred in The usual suspects , acted with the likes of the gorgeous Patricia Arquette in Stigmata , has won numerous awards, and he IS Christopher Columbus & the only reason I ever learned anything about the Spanish Armada).

Anyway , the rain stopped pouring down just in time for me to make a dodgy Hello magazine exit from a taxi -( you know – the unfortunate showing of way too much pale blue / fake tan’s not coming up yet , leg  ) – much to the great amusement of my hubby & the bloke in the car behind us .. ie – he beeped & waved & I could still see him laughing as he turned off the street. My hubby says he could still hear him laughing half an hour later .. Oh – smirky smirk – and laughing lasty stuff boys -knobbly knees or not , I’m about to be in the same ROOM as Mr Kind of gorgeous ( ok I’ll stop ) G. Byrne.

AND no – it’s not the famous Irish radio / tv show host who was addicted to roaring ‘roll it their Roisin/ Colette’/ or whichever poor unfortunate was on ‘roll it’ standby on the night’ …. that’s the other GB.

Posh face on , glass of champers in hand – big smilies for the camera as we got flashed on our way in …. I was doing my best , here I am Mr GB , here I am .. oh you’re just dying to talk to me – I know you are … when out of the corner of my eye , I spotted him … Oh JESUS , he’s less than a couple of feet away from me .. ohmygodohmygodohmygod .. crap – what am I going to say to him – poo, I hadn’t even thought of that …poo – poo – poo ….. AND HE’S GIVING ME THE LOOK .

Now my husband & everyone else will probably say he did no such thing , but I swear he was giving me the ..I want to talk to you look . I don’t care what anyone else thinks ..THAT WAS IT , my cue to get onto that stage and strike up a welded together windswept & interesting conversation.

So I take a little step sideways ( to get the full on effect of le look) , racking my brain for opening lines & impressive little phrases about actors & what not ( my three years of theatre studies better not let me down now) and………………………………………………… I trip backwards over somebody’s unfortunately placed red killer handbag .

Now , that would be an almost passable little misfortune and easily swept under the red carpet kind of thing to do under normal circumstances ………..but ; I also happened to be wearing a pair of ‘fall over & F me’ silver stilleto’s – one of which really thought I was Cinderella & kept falling off ,  and …….. and ……… and the other still barely shod foot, sank dangerously into the beautifully landscaped knee deep GRAVEL that was hiding behind the sniper handbag .

Thankfully a good friend  was on hand to catch me just as I tottered dangerously on the brink of destruction, almost righting the whole sorry situation. Alas , no , dear friends , my nervous system chose this moment to take over  and let out a banshee screech that kind of just buried the whole silent movie , nod – wink – nudge thingy I had going on for a second with the fantastic Mr B.

By the time I could bear to raise my head to any sort of visible position and could no longer feel the furnace in my face … GB (aka gorgeous boy) had been ‘moved away’ from that part of the building. Yes , folks – step away from the crazy one shoed warbler in the corner , you never know what she might do next.

Food was served ,  great speeches were made , fine music played and one too many coupes de champagne later , I  suddenly found my self face to face with GB again ..; the poor man , I think I rattled on about enough rubbish ( including some scary champers induced attempt to get him to put himself up for auction) to well and truly fill my 15 minutes of shame quota.

I think I may well have topped the shame ratings held by a friends mother who called 50 cent (the rap artist) 50 pence when she met him . 

However , a very talented lady I know, managed to paparazzi this shot with her phone while I was mid psycho babble …….

'Le' Look

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
That is a look , isn’t it ???
 
Thanks for the tea , the champers and the charity.
Mama Sxx 
 
ps. The laughs are all at my expense – donations however can be made online through GOAL’s official website.
 
pps : * I think it was a 5km hop – maybe more – apologies to D.C. for my memory lapse.
 
 
 
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About The Atomic Irish Mammy

A little mama with a big mouth , two demented children , (well 3 if you count my hubby on a bad day), and an incredible talent for doing the wrong thing when it comes to parenting.
This entry was posted in Living in Paris, madness & mammy's, music, Things I see in Paris, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to 15 minutes of shame….

  1. sally says:

    mamaswan you rock! X

  2. Julia says:

    This is the funniest “Gabe” encounter I’ve ever read! Keep writing – you’re a natural ;>)

    • I’m sure it was just as painful for him ….. but I reckon he’ll get over it !!!
      Thanks for the compliment – you’re my first non family / obliged to be nice- friend, comment – so It’s totally going to my head !!!! Wooohooo – thankyou.

      • arwenevens says:

        I’m a writer too, I know what you mean … my family seems to always love my writing – I’m hoping its not because they feel like they have to! Anyway, let it go to your head – I thoroughly enjoyed your story – made me laugh!

  3. OMGGGG THAT IS ONE BRILLIANT BLOG!! Xx

    • OMG ! thankyou !! I had just about given up on this whole blog thing. I think I might just have to find a way to get back in the saddle 🙂 thankyou

      • You should! That was a very brilliant blog! And 🙂 that’s a great pic of yourself and Gabriel. Have you checked out Byrneholics? You should if you haven’t-everything Gabriel Byrne. And, umm grateful I could help a little there. Thank You yourself for replying! Xx

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