Lost + Found

So , I got into this blog thing as a way of letting off steam and saying what’s really on my mind. Sometimes it’s so hard being a mother that you ( I mean I – I wouldn’t dare presume anyone else gets as tied up in a knot about such things – *please say you do) needed to hear about other peoples misfortunes & misgivings to make my own seem all the more acceptable ; and just when I thought it was safe to come out of the mommy blog closet , I had to stop.

The whole work / maman / work / maman / work, work, work + more work thing got so big that something had to go & unfortunately ( for me &  my 6 or 7 / ok maybe  2 or 3 , faithful followers  ) this was it… I’m not quite ready to let go of my sanity just yet: )

Somehow , the whole working mother  ( you get the picture – I’m sick of listening to myself already) and my little bits of web whinging all became linked in some weird & wonderful way ( thats what www really means you know / workworkwork – weirdwonderfulway or whinge whinge whinge) and I couldn’t really be honest about anything I said or thought anymore.

I have turned myself inside out trying to figure out what was worth forsaking. You (I) get to a certain age & discover that some things are better left unsaid , undone or unwanted. There are also things that you no longer are prepared to put up with & can’t do without …..Sometimes , we start out with plans of great things , but discover that the challenge is in managing the simple stuff. I realized that my life was so busy that I didn’t even have time to wake up and smell the coffee….. and I LOVE the smell of coffee.

I kind of felt that this couldn’t be a proper blog because I’m only writing sporadically , when I get time , or when something really winds me up. I also don’t know what the F a tweet is & now that I think about it , don’t really care either. So a sporadic , desperate housewife who wouldn’t know a twit if it bit her on the ass blog it is then ….

I have finally taken the great leap into the unknown & not very stable position of taking time off to figure it all out & hopefully do some of the following :

I take great pride in announcing that I am a 30++++ ( add a few more +’s ) woman who is just about to scare the sacre coeur out of the Parisians by getting behind the wheel of a car & learning to drive backwards for the first time in my overworked life….I’ve used the madness that is commonly known as the Metro  as an excuse for long enough .I also owe this ‘ shut up + drive’ fearlessness , to a great friend who will no doubt be doing the same to the yellow cabbies in NYC at some point this year too . We are planning a little race around the Arc de Triomphe in 2cv’s sometime in 2012 to celebrate our total lack of drive. LOL – Yes , I am honestly lol’ing all over the place because she doesn’t know it yet – but I’m not joking .

On the list of ‘other’ things to do during this time are : ( not necessarily in order of importance)

*/ catching up with some of the incredible people I’ve met over the past few years here + never have enough time to see ..

*/check my mail … you know the real paper stuff that comes through your letter box & most of which you have to reply to or else you’ll get a 10% late payment charge . ( shock horror & yes I’ve got a few months worth of catching up to do). I am , believe it or not , unbelieveably proud of the fact that I still have a friend who sends me LETTERS + newspaper clippings by post , I received one today & it just made my day . Facebook – EAT your heart out…. facebook is to communication as Jello is to desserts. Nothing beats a top class crème brulée/ letter …

“Crème Brulée can never be Jello / Jello can never be crème brulée” – Julia Roberts , My best friends wedding : yet Jello won the race in that story too.

*/ pick my kids up from school at real school ends time : ie ; (OMGOD , I’m loving this one) .. not having to leave them in the ‘animation center’ untill 6pm – which in my sons case is a group of ( god forgive me but this is true) 5 women , three of whom are lazy *!!’s who sit on their asses complaining about how how unruly their 30+ charges are untill their parents come & pick them up – ( at which point be prepared for their 4/6 minute sermon on good parenting habits ) .The other two ( animatrice’s) are so worn out trying to be active enough for everyone else that you feel like slipping a friendly ‘ I know how you feel’ valium into their coffee’s. (Did I mention that I LOVE the smell of coffee ?)

Actually , if I knew for sure that I’d never be at their ever complaining mercy again , I’d have had a great time tipping their miserable fesses* off their favourite little whingy corner bench & giving them a 90 minute compilation on what good government sponsored childcare should be. 

*/having the time to go out + buy fresh produce & cooking it all from scratch without having to sweep floors with my toes , peels spuds with my ears , answer phones with my nose , hang washing with …… I got so excited about all this fresh / I have TIME healthiness in the fruit & veg shop the other day , I reckon they would have given me the stuff for free if I promised to come back and do my Harry met Sally resto scene by the courgettes again.

*/Figure out if going it alone & setting up my own business is going to be the way to go … fortunately , oh so fortunately for me , I happen to have a boss that has given me the time/opportunity/encouragement to do just that .

*/Keep on blogging no matter what. It’s my little bit of safe/ totally unsound/ ridiculous ; & I need plenty of all that.

*/Keep Alvin , Theodore + Simon , our three newest goldfish alive . I do not have a great track record with goldfish – but that’s another days blog post.

*/thank my lucky stars + try not to spend money I don’t have on shoes I don’t need.

So , there’s absolutely nothing here that’s helpful to any expat living in Paris , no top tips on how to make kids eat veggies ( though I did put a bit of maple syrup on some bananas recently & it was a big hit) or hints on how to figure out la systeme Francaise……just a little bit of I’m back/ I’m sorry / + I’m going to drive all (2 or three) of you mad with lashings + lashings of web whinging from now on.

Mama S xx

* Fesse , is French for arse /  *!! , is www for oaf        : )